This ain't Conan the barbarian

Long ago, in the time of fire and steel, there rose a great champion, Conan the Barbarian.

Taken captive from his village while still a *****, he proved the axiom, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

Slavery forged into an instrument of legendary strength, and was soon purchased to fight in the pits.

There, among the blood and sand, he rose to become a mighty champion.

Barbarian, the master wants you to breathe with this slate.